How to deal with Toxic People Katie Day, The Higheeled Leader, Katie is a Global speaker, author and trainer working with women worldwide, empowering them to step into the spotlight oftheir magnificence and shine. Katie is working with global companies to create balance, respect and collaboration in 21st century business. And we are very lucky […]
Katie Day, The Higheeled Leader, Katie is a Global speaker, author and trainer working with women worldwide, empowering them to step into the spotlight oftheir magnificence and shine. Katie is working with global companies to create balance, respect and collaboration in 21st century business.
And we are very lucky because today Katie accepted to be here with us.
So good afternoon Katie and thanks for being with us on OnlineHealthMag.com today.
Good afternoon Aude. It’s a pleasure to be here thank you for inviting me.
As a business coach, you help your clients identify the negativity and blocks they stumble upon and that are detrimental to their professional and personal success.
Indeed yes, “toxic people” is an interesting label to present people with and I have recognized, as we go through life, that the labels we project on to other people then start to mirror that with their behavior and that’s the part of their behavior we look out for because we want to be proved we are right with the label we projected on to them. So, it’s really about owning what we believe about ourselves and what we believe about other people because we do have a very strong ability to be able to create our own reality, so it’s being really cognizant of what we think about ourselves and what we think about other people.
So, right, I would not contradict you when I hear that so I am sorry about the label.
It was interesting yesterday I was actually writing an article for an online forum for women and it was around gratitude. And I titled the article “How your greatest saboteur is your greatest gift.” Because actually, if we have… if we go through life without having any challenges, not being challenged at all by anybody, we run the risk of stagnating, and dying in exactly the same place where we were born. So, actually, rather than looking at toxic and challenging people as being our saboteurs who are trying to derail us, they are actually potentially giving us our most powerful gift if we choose to see them that way. So it’s about how we react to them and recognize that what other people think of you is none of your business but what you think of yourself is.
All right so it more something about our own self esteem.
Quite possibly, yes.. I mean they… other people do offer us a great opportunity for a mirror, so the energy that we are projecting out into the world, there is a possibility that we would have that reflected back to us by our interactions with people and how people will behave towards us and in our company and in our energy — so, if we want to change the reflection from the world’s mirror, we need to change the energy we put into the glass. So, it is about when you are feeling challenged by somebody, and you think that somebody is personal and they’re out to get you, it’s about thinking, “okay, what is it that I’m potentially doing to sabotage myself” and is this person giving me the opportunity to go back to the moment of cause and do any healing that I need to do to move on.
Would you give us a practical example of how interactions with toxic people or challenging people can affect our success.
Potentially, they have a huge capacity to actually get in our way and stop us – if we allow them. There’s a wonderful quote from Eleanor Roosevelt “ no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” So, many years ago, I chose to withdraw my consent. So, if we don’t do that, then, potentially, these people really can derail us. And if, you know, we all have bad days and we all have good days, everybody on the planet, we have the days when we wake up and we just don’t feel good about ourselves. The chances are we are radiating the energy out and the people who also don’t feel good about themselves but have that sort of bullying, command and control style of behavior with people, they are gonna unconsciously pick up on that and that’s when they’re going to attack us. So they would just exacerbate that feeling that we already have of being a fraud, of not being good enough, of not being deserving of good things in our lives, and they would just emphasize and validate that feeling. So, potentially, if we don’t capture that and recognize what they’re giving out has got nothing to do with us but they’re actually telling us what they believe about themselves and it’s never personal. The more able we are to come back to our balanced center because every single one of us occasionally become off-balanced. But the more you can own that balanced center, the more quickly you’ll come back to it.
What is the lesson and how do we grow from such encounters?
So they would just exacerbate that feeling that we already have of being a fraud, of not being good enough, of not being deserving of good things in our lives, and they would just emphasize and validate that feeling. So, potentially, if we don’t capture that and recognize what they’re giving out has nothing to do with us but they’re actually telling us what they believe about themselves and its never personal. The more able we are to come back to our balanced center because every single one of us occasionally become off-balanced. But the more you can own that balanced center, the more quickly you’ll come back to it.
So Katie in your work, how do you actually help your clients to successfully handle toxicity and negativity in their life so they are able to achieve better success and quicker?
It’s about people being able to recognize their own values, being able to recognize the gifts that they give to the world. And not only to recognize them, but to own them and to own the right to be. When I work with clients, particularly women, and I ask them to write down sentences like “I deserve to be”. I get them to really look at that sentence and own it. Because until anybody owns the sentence, I deserve to be, anything else they try they are going to probably self-sabotage. Once you own that sentence, you can add any word on to it. So “I deserve to be successful,” “I deserve to be wealthy”, “I deserve to be abundant,” whatever. So you can choose what word to add on to that but you first have to own that sentence “I deserve to be.” So, it’s about getting in touch with your values, your self-esteem, and then really embedding that into every cell of your body.
Thank you very much Katie. We really received very valuable information in this short interview on how to deal with toxic people. You act as a business coach for women and men also and we will leave your details on the website so our followers can get in touch with you and I strongly recommend they do so.
Thank you very much Katie
Thank you very much Aude It was a pleasure.
Read our article from last week: How to deal with toxic people.
Aude is an ex corporate Lawyer with a passion for health, self development and independence which lead her to give up her former career to help others through health.
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