Intimacy: the forbidden history of sex

Another view of our ancestor’s practices: “L’amour Courtois” or “Cortezia”: the spiritual intimacy

Tantric poems from Hindu traditions migrated to the West, through “Fana” the mystical Sufi love and poetry song. Sufism is generally defined as the mystical aspect of Islam in which Muslims seek the truth of divine love and knowledge through personal experience with God. Some Muslims consider Sufis as heretics just as mainstreams Christians have often condemned minded Christians.

Fana inspired the Spanish Moors in the person of Ibn al-Arabi (born in Spain in 1165)

“Contemplation of the reality without support is not possible … Since, therefore, some form of support is necessary, the best and most perfect kind is the contemplation of God in woman, The greatest union is that between man and woman”.

Fana spread across to the French Pyrenees and collided with a group who came to be known as the Cathars. The latter avoided procreation, focusing instead of the preparation for reunite to the divine. They passionately worshipped the Lady, the feminine aspect of the true God.

Cathars were persecuted and exterminated by the Church into a hideous crusade, which sent the movement underground. However the troubadours of Provence sung of chaste romance and idealization of woman under the name of “Cortezia”. Courtly love was a sexual based initiation based on the purity of motives (love before lust) and a bond between lovers was so complete that a spiritual entity was created.

Cortezia knights pledged themselves to unavailable lovers (married women) with whom they would never have procreative sex. They were rewarded with favors in a form of smiles, tokens, kisses, nude sleeping and even intercourse without ejaculation (in theory at least)!! The most powerful practice was “penetrating gaze”: looking at each other’s eyes. Altruism was a key concept “Flee avarice as if it were a dangerous plague and, in contrast, be generous”. “He whose lust is too great does not truly love”.