Why Leaders are Transparent with their Anger

Most employees are accustomed to the fact that leaders get angry and they aren’t shy to show it. It’s an acceptable reality given the superiority complex of leaders and the inferiority complex of many followers or employees who only see themselves as paid individuals. However, the truth is beyond that. Successful leaders don’t play “power trip.” They get angry because it’s a normal response to undesirable circumstances at work. In fact, they may not be angry at all – they may just be logical and rational in the midst of danger, crisis, or gross incompetence.

On the other hand, leaders who get angry and don’t hold back from showing it are not necessarily bad. According to emotional intelligence experts, Colm Foster and Henry Evans, “The highest performing people and highest performing teams tap into and express their entire spectrum of emotions.” What they say makes complete sense because people get angry at some point in their life. Successful people like Bills Gates and Steve Jobs are not only successful because of their inventions and intellectual acumen, but also because they know how to use their emotions for success.

Why Anger is an Essential Emotion?

According to Foster and Evans, when anger is controlled and harnessed, it can foster 2 constructive behavioural capabilities.

One, anger creates focus. Notice how you get very focused on the thing that you are angry of, or the thing that causes your anger. And when you are that focused, you don’t usually get distracted. All you see and care about is that thing in front of you. This kind of focus is tremendously powerful.

Two, anger generates confidence. When a person gets mad, the adrenaline rush heightens and the inhibitions are reduced. Small doses of anger can spark your confidence and helps get you started.

However, it is also important to remember that being angry can cause us to do things or say things we later regret. This is why we need to harness our anger by finding a way to remain smart and in control while we’re angry.

How to Harness Anger

1. Get angry with the action, but not with the person who committed it. Playing the blame game may relieve anger for about a few seconds, but certainly, it won’t help solve the problem. Blaming someone can cause more rifts in the relationship and will only make the other party defensive. Mature leaders don’t usually blame their employees because it’s a waste of time and energy. Instead, they use that experience to prevent the same thing from happening in the future. Addressing the action is also important. Again, blaming doesn’t solve a problem, but providing a space to talk about what has been done is a good way to seek understanding of the action. This attitude makes both the leader and the employee to focus on the issue, and not on the person, which often opens up a way to new learning.
2. Use anger to conquer fear or anxiety. Some leaders are too passive or scared to express their anxiety, or even anger. They keep their emotions within them. But, some can easily accept the fact that they’re angry and they show it to a limited degree. This is important for them to gain confidence and move from the fear zone to the rational point where they can reason out. If you happen to be a leader and is having an issue or difficulty communicating your anger or frustration over something bad, accepting that you are angry at the moment and taking time to address the issue, is a good way to practice conquering your fear of expression.
3. For leaders who are not used to expressing their emotions, but acknowledge the importance of doing so, they can always start small. Some people, especially those who don’t like confrontations, tend to let issues go, instead of talking about it. As a result, it piles up in their heart and mind and then they suddenly explode. And when it reaches to that level, the situation and relationships are already difficult to mend. During confrontations, they will bring up the past mistakes done that they have kept for a long time, which is actually not fair to the other party. Good leaders don’t do this. Whenever an issue arises, they address it, or talk about it to avoid exploding in the future. Successful leaders don’t swallow their emotions and let little issues to slide without them confronting it, which makes them look fussy. But really, it’s the right thing to do.
4. Great leaders are as authentic as anger. Why do you follow your leader? Obviously, it’s not because you are afraid of him, but because he is genuine and authentic. If you are in a journey towards becoming a good leader, you have to learn to be authentic and honest about your emotions. Don’t pretend that you are okay with things that actually hurt you or make you angry. But, do not be careless about expressing your anger as well. Remember that you have to harness this emotion to benefit from it and be able to express anger in a constructive manner. Good leaders are like that. They may appear toffee-nosed or angry at some point, but observe how they do or say things when addressing issues while keeping relationships intact.