Here is something that can be a great help to your friends and to even to you! Go on—do not hesitate share these 9 things that all of us can do without and alleviate your life from negative energy which leads to worries and anxieties. 1. Blame storming People always need to blame something or […]
Here is something that can be a great help to your friends and to even to you! Go on—do not hesitate share these 9 things that all of us can do without and alleviate your life from negative energy which leads to worries and anxieties.
People always need to blame something or someone. This too unfortunate reflex is never healthy as it does not provide any solution. Actually, blaming might be the most counter productive mode of communication. Especially when you ponder on past situations; where it seemed easier to place blame on somebody else rather than to make a self introspection and identify the real cause to the problem to fix it.
Let’s think about a particular situation: One afternoon you are babysitting two hyperactive kids. They keep running around and making a huge ruckus. As with all kids, eventually, a precious family heirloom gets broken or one of them gets injured. How would you react to this situation? The most basic human reaction is to get angry to scream one’s lungs out to punish one or both the kids. But then, what happens? Fear, resentment, unhappiness, tensions and no lesson has been taught . Partly, who is to blame? You as an adult could have been more vigilant, have anticipated what was going to happen. Clearly, there is something to learn of every failure and blaming just prevents the lesson to take place.
More blaming might actually spoil your life on a daily basis. The effort and the stress in looking for someone to be blamed or punished takes a toll on anyone.
Let us say that you’re in a restaurant. You order salmon. They serve it to you undercooked. Then what do you do ? You call the waiter; he/she calls the manager while you get angry. Someone has to get the axe, right? But then deeply consider this. A myriad of factors may have contributed to your less than satisfactory meal. The assistant chef could have botched the prep work. It could be a miscommunication between the waiter and the chef. Many other things, which could not be undone may have occurred in the process. Sure you can get a new dish and have a fine meal and this is what you came for in the first place. Do not blame. Rather fix the mess.
Part and parcel of human nature is to look for a scapegoat. When something goes wrong the government is blamed, but it is ironic that our own votes placed them in that position in the first place. Now at some point the common reaction is that someone gets fired. But if you look deeper into it, the problem is still there. Someone just became a scapegoat— and all will seem well. After some time, the same bureaucratic issues will still crop up again.
Blame storming is indeed something that all of us can do without. With inner acceptance of responsibility and of what is, then the situation will start to improve and you will grow and change your life in a more positive way.
Useless and trivial gossips about other people’s lives can lead to anger, envy, pride and comparing one’s situation to that of people we do not really know anything about . This might further add to your stress. Their lives in no way affect yours. And what is the added value of knowing who divorced who or who cheated on whom?
Everyone has a fleeting interest for celebrities but dwelling too much on them prevents you getting in touch with your own reality. A famous rapper said that “If you need a rapper to tell you how to live your life, then maybe you ain’t got no life.” Pretty direct but this mindset will distract from the real world problems that you need to face.
Many worthwhile and endearing relationships are killed with jealousy. Some relationships are strained when a partner is too possessive of the other. Jealousy creates an invisible prison for your partner. Deep in your heart we know that we do not want to hurt the ones we love. Trust is the basis for all lasting relationships.
Some relationships may have a sour past. You may have seen or experienced betrayal, which leaves a lingering wound. In some cases, you may have to seek counseling for this. Honestly ask yourselves if you still want to continue.
Some partners may be unrealistically jealous. If this is not based on fact at all– then perhaps it may drive the other partner to end up doing the exact same thing they are wrongly accused of. Unjustified jealousy is extremely destructive of any relationship, it is a controlling pattern that often hides the fear of loosing the other. This fear needs to be addressed otherwise it will re-occur and control the life of the jealous partner while damaging many feelings.
A wise man once said that “The man who knows everything learns nothing”. Being right is just an egoistic pattern, which as we see unfortunately too often, when collective, will lead nations against nation. Just let go of that irrational need to be always correct. Nobody is perfect and nobody has all the right answers. Some may think they have all the right answers but these people are oftentimes too irritating to be with. Notice that these type of people will soon be shunned by the ones that they love. Don’t be the one who always think they’re right. Also consider that accepting the other’s opinion does not necessarily means that you are wrong but that you value the relationship more than the ego.
Politics is another thing that you can do without. A large number of people spend a lot of time complaining about national politics. Believe it or not it is not national politics that affect us directly but actually local politics. Local leaders are the ones who plan and implement local projects that directly affect the way we live. Many people cannot even recall who their local leaders are.
Each county in the country and borough in a city is autonomous enough that it has its own capacity to find solutions to localized problems. Directing your energy and attention a bit more on next to be elected mayor or members of parliament might actually have a greater impact on your life. What is needed is involvement with local leaders and policies, which might help us feeling more empowered towards political life.
If we are honest with ourself, we always care about making a good impression. There is nothing wrong with this but focusing more on getting the job done gives us more fulfillment that depending on other’s opinion to make us feel good.
Think about your most embarrassing moments were these are the exact same moments that you were trying to overly impress someone. Acting naturally and always being at your best actually makes a better impression and sends out a a mush stronger self confidence message rather than over doing it. Success and lesser stress require to be just be naturally cool and keep one’s poise. Put your best foot forward and stop thinking about what other people will think of you. Your life will not only be less stressful but you will be more successful.
When you are faced with any social situation, keep an open mind and think before you speak. Do not take offense when someone says or does something that seems to be a personal affront to you. Remember also that such expression may hide deeper emotional feelings of being hurt or fear. You cannot take away the individual’s right to express their emotions. There is a possibility that you may have also done the same thing.
When you are offended it is your choice to feel offense. You have the choice to get angry or simple lighten the moment with a laugh.
There are many people who will take a lot effort just to get the latest gizmo or gadget. You wait in line for hours and hours for a product or to be the first to see a popular movie. The stress that this will cause is definitely unhealthy. They just want to impress others and they want to feel better than others.
The fact that wanting to impress other has already been previously covered and wanting to feel better about yourself will not be remedied with material things.
Studies and research on materialism—the need for material things have been directly linked to very high stress levels in individuals. This also leads to depression when you cannot have what you want. Chances are that once you get what you were seeking in the first place, you might not feel so pleased and need to get the next thing. This is what the multi-national companies want so concentrate on what you really need.
A survey was conducted on couples with long term relationships. They were asked on what made a couple more endearing to the other. The results were pretty surprising since the flaws of each partners actually made their relationship last longer. The more the couples had rough spots the more they became more endearing to each other.
Learn how to appreciate your weaknesses. You love and accept them and you cherish them. In time, these will even become your strengths.
These flaws are the ones that make all of us human. Everyone has their own mistakes and weaknesses. How you deal with them progressively is what makes your life less stressful and will reap more success.
Aude is an ex corporate Lawyer with a passion for health, self development and independence which lead her to give up her former career to help others through health.
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